Wednesday, 23 June 2010

more summertime adventures

Another set of nights under canvas. Blue skies, early mornings, starry nights, strawberry beer, trout (caught by Paul) fried in butter, pony rides, handfuls of glossy cherries, orange and mascarpone ice cream, junk shop shopping, sandy beaches, picnics. Pretty perfect.

But we also had Iris, darling, darling, headstrong, wilful Iris, who spent quite a lot of time with a family across the way, who were nice enough, but pfff, I really wanted her to hang with us a bit more. And it's SO embarrassing when your child consistently refuses to do ANYTHING you ask them, esp in front of strangers. She'd up and go over in the middle of dinner! Before breakfast! Infuriating!

Aaaaaanyway, I do love Iris's gregarious and social nature, I do, I really do, it'll stand her in good stead in life. But *&%£! it drives me crazy sometimes!! *breathe*

EDIT ** re-reading this, I wonder if I don't sound a little hysterical? Sorry. It sounds pretty minor really, and it was, I suppose I am grappling with (as if it were some huge and slippery eel) is, how to strike a balance sometimes, do I let her play happily if it means forgoing dinner? And yes, she is am amazing character, very determined and full of confidence. Thank you for all your
comments so far, they have in turned heartened me and made me laugh. **

And now, some jolly pictures...

Any tips on dealing with headstrong three-and-a-half year olds gratefully, gratefully received...


Laura said...

ah she is a peach. no advice just give her a hug from me:)

Flora said...

Feeling the pain.

I do a lot of "if you don't do X by the time I count to 5, then Y will happen" You have to see it through the first few times (no bedtime story? dunnit. leaving the beach on a glorious day? dunnit )....but now it works 99% of the time - overtiredness/extreme hunger is the only time it has no effect. Feels awful to have to be such a killjoy sometimes, but it does prevent that unsightly vein protruding from my temple...

louloulovesbooks said...

I couldn't help you there I am afraid. I had the tempertantrumtwins themselves. But the biggest point I can make from the other end of the tunnel is that if it's not really really important or life threatening, then don't get stuck on it. There will be a time when you need all the authority you can muster and if that's been the only card you've played then there are none left to play.
Apart from begging.
And Iris is just showing signs of being a proper character with her own mind and you've got to embrace that non?
And in the end my girls turned out to be two people that I am so madly proud of that I well up on mention. Sniff.
And I am so flipping jell of your bell tent. If I had one today I would put it up in the garden now and hide from the football and the pile of work that I am avoiding. I'd make daisy chains and drink green tea & think about cake.
That looks like heaven right there

babypicturethis said...

I fear I have all of this to look forward.. No advice at the moment I'm afraid!

That tent looks wonderful, I want to snuggle up in it.

suzie said...

I ditto all that Lou said....not quite so far along but with teens instead of littlies. They turn out the way they turn out, and you can bet your boots you'll be proud as f*ck. Besides, the kids that seem perfectly behaved are usually pretty miserable with some hectoring old windbag for a mum and I'm reckoning your just not that type!

Love the tent missus

Clare said...

Your holiday looks beautiful, that tent looks like heaven!
I wish I had been that sociable when I was younger, although it never occured to me that my family would miss me if I did spend my time with others. She's just too popular!!

Becky said...

Oh gorgeous pics, I wish I could be transported straight into that inviting tent right this instant. No little ones of my own yet, so not sure I have any wise advice, only maybe it is better a sociable child than a shrinking violet? Networking skills will come in use when she is older I'm sure!

Becky said...

Oh gorgeous pics, I wish I could be transported straight into that inviting tent right this instant. No little ones of my own yet, so not sure I have any wise advice, only maybe it is better a sociable child than a shrinking violet? Networking skills will come in use when she is older I'm sure!

la casita said...

Don't worry, I get VERY hysterical too!
People tell me: "it's because your child is very bright", so that is the downside: stubborn-ity!
It is embarassing at moments and it's always with strangers, isn't it?
Also my italian doesn't help as in the street I sound like a crazy mother who speak nonsense to the poor child! getting agitated and articulating the arms in a weird and incomprehensible body language!
An hart attack is what I'm going to get if she doesn't start to behave!
Here you are, a bit of "motherly whingeing" for you, so you know you're not alone!
(ps: excuse my English)

Francesca said...

great pics, such a cosy tent. don't think i can cope with camping + baby this year. but next year will be great. i'm also hysterical mum sometimes. i do a lot of counting to 5 and then i start confiscating favourite toys! it works up to a point. i'd love to be like louise and let things go more easily. but i get so BLOODY CROSS! x

Naomi Devlin said...

Steely conviction and ear plugs... in fact, my mum just used to hum loudly when we were pissing her off - seemed to work for her.

I don't do bribery / threats - the bribes / threats just have to get bigger and bigger!

My headstrong three and a half year old is mellowing into the most thoughtful, intelligent, responsible nearly nine year old. All I had to do was keep telling myself that conscious parenting pays off in the end, and it did.

You're doing a fantastic job - just keep doing it and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

x x x

Flora said...

Gosh, I sounded a bit harsh there didn't I - I was a bit tired and trying to be short-winded...what I meant to add is that they are only trying to find out where the boundaries are in terms of what they want to do versus what they are allowed to do. If the boundary is a little vague, then there will be more pushing to find *exactly* where it is. OK, it's a fair cop. I did a parenting course (webster stratton). It just about saved my life though :-)

Lovely World said...

Oh boy! My girl turned 10 last week. I had a very hard time with her when she was little, and now she is a gem - just lovely. Looking back I would say I think calm boundaries are important. Repeating again and again, calmly, what the rules are. Then, she will see that the fighting against them isn't working so well. All the times I was a hysterical woman yelling my head off didn't work so well. It is all so tiring isn't it?

spudballoo said...

Oh, I feel your pain. I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old. The 4 year old is just turning in to some kind of arsey teenager, which is shocking as he's been an 'Angel child' up until now. The 3 year old, however, has been a total whirlwind from the second he was born. Headstrong, stubborn, willful. Sweet as anything and not 'naughty' as such. Just bloody willful.

It's so hard. I wrote a very gloomy blogpost about it a while back, hang on I'll link in a minute as I got some good advice.

My only advice would be to pick your battles, there's no point trying to fight everything so pick the stuff that REALLY matters and either ignore or work around the other stuff.

Plus, it goes in fits and starts. I won't say 'thiss too will pass' because I don't think it does when it's a personality trait. However, there are times when it's worse and those dreadful times DO pass. Normally made worse by tiredness, too much attention and growth spurts/learning new stuff.

Oh, and other people just don't care as much as you do. Plus, everyone has been there. Everyone has had their child totally refuse to do as you ask, throw a massive wobbler etc. So don't sweat that so much. YOU mind the most about her behaviour, because you experience it non stop and thus every 'strop' or whatever is magnified because it's in the context of a whole week of willfulness or whatever. It's not the same for randoms in the street/campsite.


PS word veri is 'flair'. How cool. A message from google. Iris isn't willful, she has flair. Which is to be embraced and encouraged. xx

spudballoo said...

Here, this post.